Fanatically Speaking

Exercise! Stay healthy! We have been given wonderful gifts of a mechanical nature that mankind can not imitate. The human body is truely a scientific marvel. A myriad of hydrolic, chemical, electrical and physical systems that are unmatched by anything built by today's scientific geniuses. It can be injured by diseases, penetrating objects or violating chemicals, yet rebuild and repair itself. Yes, man can replace some of the worn out objects, but creating anything from scratch that is like unto it is just not possible, at this time.
So, these bodies grow. Amazingly, at different rates and different sizes. Why are some of them bigger? Why are some of them taller? Some are faster, while others are smarter. But all of them, like snowflakes, are unique to themselves. There are no two that are the same. Even twins have differences that make them individual.
Of course, like any machinery, there are maintenance requirements for these bodies. Just like a car, you have to add things to make them go. Food and vitamins are like the gasoline and oil that we put in our vehicles. If we don't do it often, we either run poorly or run out of energy. And an old car sitting there in the sun, rain and other elements ends up being in rusty, poor shape. We have to take care of our bodies, if we don't want them to end up in a scrapyard.
So, scientific geniuses have developed a great plan to keep them running in top condition. This plan is called exercise. However, like a lot of things that are "good" for one, are not accepted as "good." We rebel against anything that might cause us minor pain, even if it is "for our own good." So, to get around this, the geniuses decided to change the name from "exercise" to "sports." Everyone likes to play games and sports. They are being tricked into doing exercises.
Well, remember the previous principle that no two bodies are the same. Some people are good at particular sports, while others, well, let's just say they shouldn't quit their day jobs. In fact some are so good that the ones who are not good would rather pay to watch the ones who are do these exercises. And pay dearly. They pay so that the others can do these exercises, while they sit in the stands and eat some of that food. A lot of times, the food they eat makes it so they are even less able to do that exercise so they feel the need to keep paying to watch the others exercise. In fact, sometimes the exercise of going to watch is just too much so they pay to be able to watch this exercise from the cushions of their couches at home.
Now, the physically challenged observers (that's politically correct for inept, lazy, couch bums) always dream about being able to do this exercise. I mean, who wouldn't want to get paid millions of dollars to play a sport, any sport, even for just one season. They dream to a point that during a particular season, all they can think about is the next game, or the next meet, or the next time their teams or individuals will be visible to them, so that they can watch and not exercise themselves. This euphoria has a hypnotic affect to where the admirers even start claiming to be part of the team.
"Yeah, WE are just one win away from the championship."
"WE are undefeated."
"WE played OUR best WE'VE played all year."
I'm listening to fans just trying to figure out how I can sign up to be part of the team. Of course, there is a downside to belonging to a team, and once the team does poorly, these same admirers instantly jump off ship.
"THEY couldn't win to kill THEMSELVES."
"THEY couldn't hit the broad side of a barn."
"THEY should trade so and so to another team."
"I knew THEY couldn't win the big one.
Well, the physically challenged observers have come up with a name for themselves: FANATIC, or FAN for short. Again, no two fans are alike. Some go to extremes of watching their teams, calling into work as being sick so that they can follow "the team" and purchasing all sorts of team paraphernalia. They call themselves "True Fans" and anyone who mocks them isn't really a "true fan." They paint their faces, or bellies, or..., well lets just say that they would sacrafice any part of their bodies for the "benefit of the team." They feel that it is because of some aurora emanating from their fully decked out bodies, ash trays, car fresheners, and the myriad of other items that are making someone in the People's Republic of China richer, that is the cause of their team's success, or failure.
Now, I admit that at times I too have been involved with fanaticism. In fact, there are two words that I won't use in the same sentence together, because in the past, whenever I have gambled on one particular football team using the word "bet" they have lost everytime. Not only did I learn at a young age the sins of gambling, but I also undoubtedly was the cause of this team not winning more championships than they should have if I had never been born. But I have been cured of this "fanaticism." I no longer feel the pain that I did as a child. And having been cured, I take great joy and satisfaction in watching other fans struggle through their "adolescence" of fanaticism.
The other night I attended a college basketball game. I was invited by a friend who provided my tickets so I took my daughter and we sat in "his" section which happened to be the visiting team. Not wanting to offend my friend, and not really having any connection with the home team other than they happen to be housed in my home city, I was rooting for said visiting team. We happened to be on the edge of the home/visitor dividing line, so I found it amusing to hear one group of fans yelling things like, "Come on, Ref!!! Are you blind?," while the other group was yelling, "Great call, Ref!!!," on the same play.
Being an official, I've learned that there are 3 views in all sporting events. There is the opinion that since a game is being played in a particular place, the home team gets all the calls. There is the notion that particular teams or players get better calls because the ref's like them. Then there is the correct point of view, that the officials could not care less who wins, someone is going to like their calls and someone is not.
Back to the basketball game, as we were enjoying the game and I was trying to be impartial and explain to my friend why some calls are made and some are not, pointing out that he can't watch everything at the same time, which is why there are several officials out there and they have specific jobs. Yes, sometimes things get missed, but it goes both ways. Well, we are having a good conversation when something goes bad for the home team. "COME ON, DAVIS!" Evidently, one of the home players named Davis just threw the ball away and a fan from across the aisle was unsatisfied. I hadn't been following the team, so didn't know who Davis was, but my friend was happy. Then later in the period, "GET DAVIS OUT OF THERE!" Again, the same fan with the loud voice, who obviously was the upper level section LL coordinator for the home team was trying to relay the message down to the head coach that Davis was not performing to his abilities and should be removed from the game. Thinking quickly the next time the hometeam had the ball, I disguised my voice and yelled out, "GIVE THE BALL TO DAVIS."
Well, after the game, my daughter asked, "Did WE win, Daddy?" WE sure did, 'Millie. WE sure did.